As Darkness Falls
by Thyqua
Summary: Harry had seen her scared before, had seen her shaken up after some of the dangerous situations she managed to get herself into. But something was different this time, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
1. Prologue

**A/N… Hey everyone. Sorry I've been kinda absent from the world of SW ff, got rather distracted by a different show for a while! But I'm back…have tons of reading to catch up on (apologies to everyone that I haven't reviewed, just haven't been keeping up with my reading at all recently), but thought I'd start uploading this, see what you all think and if you like it I'll carry on working on it ;-) I meant to get this up back in early November, but hey, time has a way of running away from me…and I'm still a little undecided about the story despite having written quite a bit already! Hope you like it…**

**...**

**Prologue**

**...**

"Nikki? Who was that?" Nikki shook her head in response, her breathing fast and irregular.

"I can't." She wouldn't look at Leo, her gaze moving around the room as she continued to shake her head. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"Nikki, what's going on?" Leo's tone had changed from simple curiosity to concern. He made a move towards her, shocked when practically she leaped back away from him.

"I can't- I can't talk about it." Nikki continued to back away, barely noticing that she banged into her desk but somehow managing to grab hold of her coat as she made her way to the door. "I'm sorry. I can't."

And suddenly she was gone, disappeared through the doors in a swish, leaving a rather confused Leo standing in the middle of the lab.

"What was that all about?" Leo turned at the sound of Harry's voice, watching him enter the room before glancing back at the doors Nikki had run out through.

"I don't know." Leo said after a long moment of thought. "I really don't know." The concern and worry were obvious in his tone, the unease soon spreading to Harry as they both stood still and stared at the doors, as if hoping Nikki would come back through them and explain.

...


	2. Slipping

**...**

**Slipping**

**...**

The cold November air hit Nikki in the face as she walked through the main doors of the Lyell Centre, making her eyes sting with the sudden change in temperature. She pulled her long coat up around her neck, grateful for the high collar as it protected her tender skin from the rush of cool air.

She couldn't stay here. She couldn't risk one of the men coming to look for her. She couldn't risk talking to either Harry or Leo right now, not when she was feeling so fragile, so vulnerable. She would be sure to open up and tell them everything. And that wasn't something she could do.

Before she knew it she was walking away from the centre, the thought of using her car not even crossing her mind, not a possibility anyway as her keys were inside, in her bag, on her desk. Picking up more than her coat hadn't been her main priority in her hurry to escape the lab.

There was only a light breeze, but since the temperature had dropped into the realms of winter weather the week before, the air was unpleasantly cold. Nikki hugged her coat around her body, trying to keep herself warm. Her own temperature seemed to have dropped even before stepping outside, and the climate gave no relief.

Her eyes continued to sting as she walked, her mind briefly wondering whether it was still just the cold air causing them to water as she felt a slim trail of warm liquid trickle down her cheek.

She was already losing her sense of time, wasn't sure how long she had been walking, or even what time she had left work. She hadn't been paying much attention to where she was going either, and now, as she slowed her pace to look around she realised she truly had no idea where she was.

An overpowering wave of fear passed through her, and Nikki's hand barely made it to her mouth to cover the sob that escaped. Her feet stopping beneath her, Nikki took a deep breath, screwed her eyes tightly shut and tried to force the rising emotions back down before she landed in a heap on the pavement. Another trail of warm fluid stained her other cheek before she managed to open her eyes again, and drop her hand back into her pocket, assuring herself that she wasn't going to break down right now.

She couldn't, not here, not now, not like this.

Maybe later, in the privacy of her own home, with the lights off so that she could pretend it wasn't really happening. Before that could happen she was going to have to figure out where she was.

That thought drew her mind to a halt. If she worked out where she was, there would be some kind of pressure to go home. Or back to work. Either way she knew Harry and Leo would find her. Someone would find her, and she didn't want to be found. She didn't want to have to explain herself. She wasn't sure that she could.

Never before had Nikki felt quite so alone. There had been times in her life when she had no one to turn to, and yet somehow now, when she knew that she had people that she could rely on, it was so much worse. Knowing that they were there but she couldn't tell them anything, couldn't ask for their help, couldn't let them help her. She felt so much more alone than she had ever thought possible.

A tremble passed through her body at the knowledge that she was entirely alone in this, that there was nothing anyone could do.

Suddenly a feeling of nausea rose from her stomach, and Nikki quickly slipped into an alleyway between two buildings and emptied her stomach contents onto the dirty street. Leaning against the wall a moment later as she tried to regain some balance and quell the shaking of her legs, Nikki had to wonder where that came from. It was rather unexpected. Though now it had left her body feeling weaker than before; the trembling didn't seem to want to stop and her whole body was beginning to ache.

She felt a sudden loss of control. Not that she had felt in control all day, but now it was excruciating, the lack of power she felt as her legs took it upon themselves to stumble back out of the alleyway and continue along the pavement.

She was barely registering her surroundings, the kind of area in London she had wandered into, when her body and mind simultaneously gave up and allowed her to slump to the ground in another, even more grimy dark alleyway.

She rested her back against the cold stone wall behind her, legs automatically bending in front of her, arms hugging them close to her chest. She had no idea what she was supposed to do now.

Her body was still aching with a painful intensity, her head throbbing enough to disturb any half sensible trail of thought that attempted completion. It wasn't long before her eyes became heavy and the constant shivers began to lull her into a light sleep.

One thought ran through her mind before she faded into a dream world. How had she allowed this to happen again?

**...**


	3. Never Quite Forgotten

**...**

**Never Quite Forgotten**

**...**

She had never told anyone since she left behind that life, despite a slight slip to Harry once that he thankfully didn't seem to pick up on in one of their heated arguments.

It had been a time of her life that she was struggling to find herself, to find someone that cared about her, that would take care of her.

Her father had just thought he was getting lucky by reducing some of his own responsibility to look after her by passing her off, so getting his permission hadn't been a problem.

What she had been thinking she'd never really managed to figure out since. But the need to feel loved could be overpowering, and Nikki confused that desire with love itself.

Looking back she couldn't possibly understand how she had thought she was mature enough to make any kind of life changing decision. She was sixteen, for crying out loud, what could she have possibly known? But it didn't feel like that at the time, it felt as if it all made sense, as if it was the right thing to do.

She had lived with him for over a year. It started out well, but it wasn't long before life became unbearable. She spent as much time as possible at college, at the library after, hiding away in books, the one place she felt safe. University had been the perfect excuse to leave. If only leaving had been that straight forward.

He hadn't wanted to let her go. Things had often been fiery between them, a little physical when he was angry. But somehow she hadn't seen it coming. Despite being unhappy, deep down knowing that it wasn't working, she believed he loved her, would take care of her. Not beat her to within an inch of her life and leave her on a dusty roadside all alone.

She was still recovering when she started university, still hobbling if she put too much weight on one leg, though thankfully all the visible external marks were gone. Except for a lingering scar across her stomach that she still couldn't bear to look at.

It was easy to pretend it never happened. That she just had a leg injury from playing too much sport over the summer. That she wasn't running from the worst couple of years of her life.

After testifying against him and knowing she was safe whilst he was in prison, she tricked herself into thinking that she would get past it. That she was healing, that one day she'd be alright.

She was even better at lying to herself than she knew. Years in denial made her truly believe that she was over it. It had happened in another lifetime, to someone she didn't even recognise as herself now. She had worked so hard to become strong and independent. She never believed it could all come crashing back down in an instant.

The instant that her ex-husband walked into her workplace and recognised her straight away.

She hadn't been able to find her words. It felt as though the whole English language had been erased from her memory and all she could do was stand and stare, and gape slightly as fear swelled up through her whole existence.

For years the centre had been her sanctuary. The one place she could rely on when even her own home became scary, another place for her nightmares to play out. She knew it wasn't just about the building, about how much she loved her job and what the place resembled. It was knowing that eventually, even if it took all night, either Leo or Harry would walk in and she wouldn't be alone anymore.

If she really gave it some thought, she'd been running from being alone most of her life. Clinging onto people, places, in a desperate attempt to feel like she had a purpose, like she was loved.

A distorted image of her mother passed in front of her eyes as she remembered feeling truly loved as a child. Truly safe. That had all fallen apart when her mother died, and she'd been fighting to feel that secure again ever since.

Now her one safe place was tainted, a reminder of a life she wanted to forget.

...


	4. Lost and Concerned

**...**

**Lost and Concerned**

**...**

"Nikki where are you?" Harry muttered to himself under his breath, as her phone went straight to voicemail again. He didn't bother to leave a message, he'd already left about three and wasn't sure that any more messages were going to make a difference.

"Any luck?" Leo asked as he walked up behind Harry. He shouldn't have needed to ask really, Harry's body language already gave his answer, though the shake of a head he received in response confirmed it. Leo sighed before speaking again. "Her car's still outside, where could she have gone? Surely she wouldn't have walked home from here, it would take her hours." Harry glanced down at his watch.

"It's been a couple of hours, Leo. Why hasn't she called?" Harry's voice held such desperation that it worried Leo. He could never just worry about one of those two if they were in trouble, it always affected the other so much he had to worry about them both.

Suddenly Harry's attitude changed, he regained some momentum and Leo followed him out of his office and across to Nikki's desk where Harry picked up Nikki's bag and turned it upside down, spilling the contents across the surface of her desk.

"Harry-" Leo started, thinking that maybe he was overreacting a little now. Leo stopped as soon as Harry turned around with Nikki's apartment keys in his hand. Leo sighed again. She obviously hadn't gone home. "Maybe she just went for a walk, needed to clear her head. She was clearly shaken up about something, maybe she just needed some time to herself to think."

"Leo, it's getting dark, she should have come back by now." Leo nodded in acceptance. "Something's wrong Leo." Harry seemed to have calmed again, but Leo could tell it was just on the surface, that underneath he was raging and ready to scream. "We have to find her."

"I know, Harry. I know." Leo sighed. Where were they supposed to start?

"You said there was a man in here just before Nikki ran off? Who was he?" Harry's voice still contained some urgency, as if he could somehow figure out what had happened and bring Nikki back. Leo didn't know how that was possible when they really had no way of knowing where she had gone, but would indulge Harry if it kept him focused. And if there was any chance of it helping Leo was willing to try.

"He's the brother of Stuart Thompson, Nikki's latest case. He came in to identify the body, but I don't think they got that far. Nikki started acting strange, he left almost immediately, and then she seemed to panic when I asked her about it." Leo stopped thinking back to the strange scene in his head. "I guess she must have known him." He added, his mind still thinking back through the memory.

"She couldn't be with him, could she? She left just after him, maybe he was still outside? Maybe he took her-" Harry's voice took on a new level of panic.

"Wait a minute, Harry. We don't even know how she knows him, why would he have taken her?" Leo was really trying not to let Harry's emotions infiltrate his own, trying to remain the one who could see sense.

"How did she look when she saw him, Leo? Did she just look surprised or did she look scared?"

"I don't know, Harry, I barely saw them together." Even Leo noticed the frustration coming through his tone now, and stopped himself knowing it would not help any of them. "If she was scared, she wouldn't have gone anywhere with him, wouldn't have let him take her away from here." He took a deep breath; this was getting to him as well. "I'm sure she just went for a walk, maybe she lost track of time."

Harry didn't seem particularly convinced by Leo's assertions. In all honesty, Leo wasn't swayed himself. A feeling of unease was spreading through him and he fought to keep it from Harry. Both of them panicking right now was not likely to help Nikki if she was in trouble.

It was what made them such a great team. Whatever the circumstances, whatever the situation, one of them was always calm and in control even if one or both of the others was a complete mess. Leo had realised it a couple of years ago, one of them was always there to keep the other two grounded when need be. He was honoured to be part of such a special relationship.

He just hoped that nothing would happen to fracture the tender existence they lived in.

The two men stood in silence next to Nikki's desk for quite some time. They both knew they should move, should do something but weren't sure where to start. There was work waiting to be done as well as the whole Nikki situation, but neither could manage to focus.

They retreated to Leo's office after a while, Harry settling down on the sofa as Leo sat uncomfortably behind his desk, flicking through files and bits of paperwork that needed to be seen to but not feeling any inspiration to do anything about them.

The silence was eventually broken harshly by the sound of Harry's mobile. Harry had the phone out of his pocket, barely taking the time to glance at the caller before picking it up. He only needed a second to recognise Nikki's name on the screen.

"Nikki?" Harry couldn't keep the sound of desperation out of his voice, he'd been waiting for her to call for what felt like days.

"Is this Dr Harry Cunningham?" Harry's breath caught in his throat at that. He was longing to hear her voice, to know she was okay, and now he was talking to a complete stranger. The woman on the other end of the phone sounded pleasant enough, but it wasn't Nikki.

"Yes, who is this?" He managed to find his voice again, looking across to where Leo was perched on the edge of his chair, listening in with a look of concern painted across his features.

"I'm a nurse at the University College Hospital."

"Is Nikki okay?" He didn't hesitate that time, despite the feeling of dread that slammed into him at the nurse's words.

"Yes she'll be fine. She was barely responsive when she was found so the paramedics brought her in, but she'll be fine once she's warmed up and got some rest."

"Right, I'm on my way over." Harry hung up at that, already standing, not wanting to waste any time. "Leo, I've got to go. The nurse said Nikki's okay, but she's in hospital."

"I'll come with you." Leo's phone took that moment to start ringing. "Shit." He muttered under his breath before picking it up. Harry stood and waited, as difficult as it was not to rush out of there in his eagerness to see Nikki, to know that she really was okay. Leo sighed when he put the phone down. "I've got to go to a crime scene." It was easy to tell he wasn't happy about it, that he'd rather go with Harry to the hospital.

"I'll call you later, let you know what's going on." Leo nodded reluctantly at Harry's reassurance, frustrated that work had to come first when he really wanted to be there for his friend.

...

**A/N... Sorry about the delay updating...had this sat on my computer but just didn't get around to putting it up (oops) Thanks to those of you that have reviewed/added me to alerts so far...much appreciated!**


	5. Home

**...**

**Home**

...

Harry assumed he'd parked his car straight in a space and not across a couple in his rush to get into the hospital, but he honestly couldn't have told you for sure. He was slightly out of breath by the time he reached the reception desk in the Accident and Emergency department.

"I'm here to see Nikki Alexander." The receptionist simply nodded at him before beginning to type into his computer. Harry couldn't stand still whilst he waited; he found one of his feet tapping impatiently as his fingers moved around on top of the desk. It didn't matter that he had been told she was alright, he wouldn't calm down until he saw it for himself.

"I'll just get a nurse to take you to her." The receptionist finally answered when he looked up from his computer. "Please feel free to take a seat." The man, who Harry was starting to get frustrated with despite his kind appearance, gestured towards a collection of uncomfortable looking plastic chairs.

"I'm good, thanks." Harry replied, an edge to his tone. He moved to the side of the desk, leaving space for anyone else who needed to approach, but hovering to the side hoping that by getting in the way someone would take him to see Nikki sooner.

His wish was soon answered as a young, dark skinned nurse approached him. She looked kind, the type of person that was destined to become a nurse, with caring eyes and an approachable appearance despite being rather pretty.

"Dr Cunningham?" He nodded. "If I could just have a word before you go in to see Dr Alexander?" Harry nodded his acceptance and allowed himself to be led over to one side of a wide corridor that lead to an area of curtained dividers. "Dr Alexander has seemed quite distressed since she woke, but she won't discuss whatever is bothering her."

"Something happened at work earlier." Harry stated, hoping that it provided enough of an explanation for the nurse as he didn't exactly have any more to give.

"I can put in a call for someone to come and talk to her, if you'd like."

"No, Nikki won't like that, she'll be fine, I'll talk to her."

"Well let me know if you change your mind or if Dr Alexander would like to see someone." Harry nodded again.

"Thanks."

"I'll take you to her." The nurse started to move but Harry stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Where was she found?"

"I'm not sure exactly where, the paramedics said she was slumped in an alleyway, looked too well dressed to be from that area, and was barely conscious when they found her." Harry must have had an expression on his face that gave more away than he was intending to. "We don't know exactly what happened, but she's fine now, she just needs to go home and get some rest." Harry nodded in acceptance.

"Thank you for calling me."

"Well you were the ICE number in her phone." The nurse didn't notice Harry pausing as she started to move. "Shall we?" The nurse mentioned towards the curtained rooms at the end of the corridor. Harry nodded eagerly, his desperate desire to see Nikki returning full force.

The nurse left him with a small pat on his arm outside one of the curtained areas. Harry took a deep breath before entering. Nikki was on the bed, covered in an array of sheets and blankets.

She looked so small, so young. With makeup mostly wiped away by a combination of tears and hands somehow she looked more fragile. Her legs were curled up towards her chest, body still trembling slightly. He wondered if the shivers were caused by something other than the cold, because she really should have warmed up by now.

She looked up at him as he approached the bed, met eyes with him for a very brief moment before looking away, as if ashamed. His heart broke in his chest. What on earth had happened earlier to leave her like this?

Harry had seen her scared before, had seen her shaken up after some of the dangerous situations she managed to get herself into. He'd seen her upset, seen her distraught after her father wandered in and out of her life like a yoyo. But something was different this time, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

In all the time it took for him to guide her out of the hospital and drive her home, she didn't say a word.

Harry really wanted to question her, to ask what had happened at the lab earlier, to ask where she had gone and how she had ended up in the hospital. But somehow he knew that he wouldn't get any answers, not now at least. He could feel waves of emotion and tension coming from Nikki and knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't respond to questioning. He'd have to take a different tactic to find out what had happened.

He couldn't hide his concern anymore when Nikki flinched away from his touch. They had arrived outside her apartment building and she didn't seem to have realised despite the fact he had switched the car off a few minutes before and had been observing her closely since. Harry could tell she was deep in thought, obviously distracted by something, but hadn't expected the response to his hand gently resting on her arm. In all honesty, her reaction scared him rather a lot.

As soon as she realised the cause for it, she seemed to shake herself from her thoughts and got out of the car, no explanation offered for her distance or strange reaction.

Harry watched her walk up the steps to her apartment building before stopping in front of the doors, hands in the pockets of her jacket, obviously searching for something.

Oh right, she didn't have her keys. Harry grabbed her handbag from the back seat of his car, and walked up the steps to meet her.

She didn't seem to want to meet his eyes, but was happy enough to stand back and let him unlock the door without questioning how he had known to pick up her bag before going to the hospital.

They walked up the stairs in silence, Harry unlocking the door to her flat and then placing her bag and keys down on the table in her living room. Nikki stood just within the room, looking painfully uncomfortable when he looked up at her.

"Are you going to be alright? Do you need me to get you anything?" The words that emerged from his mouth seemed inappropriate and inadequate, yet Harry couldn't think of what else to say. He only received a shaken head in response, and got the feeling that it referred to the second question rather than the first. He had to make sure though.

"Do you want me to stay?" For the brief moment before she responded, Harry found himself longing for her to say 'yes'. Or even a simple nod would do, seeing as she didn't seem to want to speak. He received neither, merely another small shake of her head before Nikki turned away, walking to her front door.

She opened it ever so slightly, and he took that as a hint that she wanted him to leave. It would be so much simpler if she would just say that. This silence was starting to get frustrating. He made his way to the door, taking over control of the handle when she backed away slightly.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" A single nod this time. "Please tell me you'll ring if you need anything." He didn't add that she'd have to actually speak for it to do much good. Another nod, this one more reluctant, though he rather expected that. "Nikki, could you please just say something?"

Her body moved in slightly, and her hand reached up, a finger covering his lips almost before he'd finished speaking. He was surprised that she initiated the contact, especially given her response to his touch in the car a few minutes before. She shook her head again, this time meeting his eyes for a second.

He wasn't sure what to think of the glimpse of emotion he had seen in her eyes.

Sighing deeply when the hand fell away from his face as quickly as it had arrived, Harry turned away and fully opened the door. He didn't want to leave her, but he couldn't exactly stick around unwanted.

"You know where I am." With his parting words, Harry didn't even bother to look back at Nikki one last time. He didn't think there was any point at this stage, she either didn't want or just wasn't ready for help, and he couldn't push whilst she seemed so traumatised by the events of the day.

If he had looked back one last time before heading down the stairs he might have seen the instant that Nikki's face crumbled. The instant that her mask dropped and she felt all her remaining energy sucked out of her. Harry heard the door slam rather loudly as he reached the next flight of stairs, but didn't realise that Nikki had pushed it shut as she crumpled down behind it, flinching at the sound as it slammed from the force she used in her rush to close it. Her rush to close it encase he glanced back and saw her. Then he'd surely never leave her alone.

And she wanted to be alone. Despite desiring comfort, she couldn't bring herself to talk yet and knew Harry wouldn't let that rest for long. Nor would he restrain from questioning her about the day for much longer. And she hadn't worked out yet what she was going to say. Whether she would lie or tell the truth. Whether she could spin a good enough lie to cover the truth. Or whether she would have to give in and admit to her past.

It was easier to be alone.

Nikki sat in her entrance hall with her back against the door for quite some time. She didn't cry, despite the strong desire. She just sat, letting her thoughts drift off, up, down and round in circles until a shiver accompanied by a yawn forced her to go to bed.

She'd have to figure out what to do in the morning.

**...**

**A/N… I am officially useless at updating ;-) Seem to have had a lot going on in life recently and haven't been reading or writing much – though I haven't forgotten about the wonderful world of Silent Witness fanfiction…honestly! I am (incredibly slowly) attempting to catch up on all the updates and new stories but it's gonna take a while ;-) **

**On a separate note, I've decided to name the chapters as I'm fed up with the whole 'Chapter One – Two' issue that happens when you put a prologue at the beginning…but might be a disaster when I can't think of chapter names even when I have finally written them! We'll see…maybe it'll work. **

**Also, I changed the rating as I possibly put it a little high at first – though it might go up again for some later chapters (assuming I remember to do that). So this is your early warning that things could get a little heavier later on. **

**Anyways, hope you hadn't all forgotten about me (!) and more importantly, are all enjoying the lovely sunshine...**


End file.
